Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Malapropist Tribune: 8/8/2012

Words looked up in the course of reading. Definitions copied (with some degree of error) from my American Heritage Dictionary. Examples pulled straight out of my ass.

acromegaly (n) - A chronic disease of adults marked by enlargement of the bones in the extremities, face, and jaw. "Andre the Giant comes to mind as notable figures afflicted with acromegaly."

shale (n) - A fissile rock composed of layers of clay-like, fine grained sediments. "I have this recurring nightmare where I go to chew on my nails, and they crack and crumble like shale."

permutation (n) - The process of altering the order of a given set of objects in a group. "The sandwich shop by my house has like one sandwich with endless permutations of the same four high-sodium Italian meats."

genuflect (v) - To touch the knee or bend the knee to the floor or ground, as in worship. "I get entirely uncomfortable when my shoe comes untied - there's nothing worse than having to sort of genuflect in public to set the laces straight again."

apse (n) - Architecture: A usually semi-circular or polygonal, often vaulted, recess, especially the termination of the sanctuary of a church. "The Catholic Church offered an apology today after a newly-instated Cardinal was caught pogo-sticking in the apse of Notre Dame in the middle of the night."

capacious (adj) - Capable of containing a large quantity, spacious or roomy. "There's nothing as sacred to a Cadillac owner as a capacious parking space."

rejoinder (n) - An answer, especially to a reply. "Acrid adolescent rejoinders have been one of the more sore points of my teaching career."

revenant (n) - One that returns after a lengthy absence; one who returns after death. "As far as revenants go, I like to think that Zombie Steinbeck would make an excellent drinking partner."

transom (n) - A horizontal crosspiece above a door, or between a door and the window above it. "My brother, at 6'6" has a sort of permanent indent in his forehead from tromping into transoms."

claret (n) - A red table wine produced in the Bordeaux region of France; a dark or grey purplish red, to dark purplish pink. "She lifted her shirt to reveal a series of claret-colored bruises along her side."

picric acid (n) - A poisonous, explosive yellow crystalline solid, used in explosives, dyes, and for etching copper. "His teeth were rotted through, the canines especially having an almost picric tint to them."

sobriquet (n) - An affectionate or humorous nickname. "I've come to think of being called a Polak as a sort of endearing sobriquet."

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