Saturday, July 14, 2012

Malapropist Tribune: 7/14/2012

Words I look up in the course of reading. Definitions borrowed from my American Heritage Dictionary. Examples pulled straight out of my ass. 

blotto- (adj)
Slang: intoxicated, drunk. “Ben wasn't blacked out, just badly blotto.”

putative- (adj)
Generally regarded as such; supposed. “As far as he could tell, it had been the burger chain’s putative beef patty that made him sick.”

diffraction- (n) Change in directions and intensities in a group of waves after passing by an obstacle or through an aperture whose size is generally the same wavelength of the waves. “The diffraction of the fading sunlight through the fishbowl formed a tidal smear of light along the living room wall.”

brogue- (n) A strong dialectal accent, especially a strong Irish or Scottish accent. “I think they may call the drink an ‘Irish Car Bomb’ because, if you have enough of them, you end up with a heavy and imperceptible brogue by night’s end.”

sordid- (adj) Morally degraded. “There’s something sadly sordid about the bickering between presidential candidates this time of year.”

arachnodactylic- (adj) Assumed/supposed definition (meaning I had to infer this guy): Having spiderlike fingers or toes. “The pianist had enormous & awful arachnodactylic hands.”

mucronate- (adj)- Ending abruptly at a sharp point. “Samuel? He had these bizarrely mucronate nipples, it turned out, and I had to end the relationship.”

swaddle- (v) To wrap, as in a cloth. “The sidewalks were stuffed with homeless swaddled in hairy, wine-stained blankets.”

reticent- (adj) Inclined to keep one’s thoughts, feelings, & personal affairs to oneself. “You have to fear the reticent ones. Those are the guys who end up shooting up the workplace, admitting to zoophilia, or else just really, really liking smooth jazz.”

dysplasia- (n) An abnormal development or growth of the tissues, organs, or cells. “I once compared, as an answer to my grandmother's inquiry, the sensation of getting stoned to feeling like a sudden dysplasia of the brain. She told me thank you, as I’d helped her feel very confirmed in her beliefs and life choices.chyme- (n) The thick semifluid mass of partly digested food that is passed from the stomach to the duodenum. “I hate waking in the middle of the dream, as the chyme of those unprocessed thoughts remain stuck in my brain all day.”

lucent- (adj) Giving off light, luminous. “There’s something comforting about dozing off in the lucent glow of the TV screen.”

antipode (n)- A direct or diametrical opposite. “I don’t have any hard or odd feelings toward my ex. Things are actually pretty good now that I’ve moved to the geological antipode of our old apartment."

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